Dementia, in its many forms (Alzheimer’s is the most common dementia), disrupts many processes in the brain, usually beginning with memory, progressing to thinking, making decisions, and emotional control. As dementia progresses, these and other issues become more troubling.  One striking aspect of dementia is the enormous variability in the effect of the dementia on each person.  As some have said, “If you know one dementia patient, you know one dementia patient.”  Many patients exhibits massive changes in their functioning.  A pleasant, kind, cooperative person becomes mean and uncooperative.  Or a more unpleasant person becomes nicer than ever.  Some retain the same basic personality, but with increasing memory and thinking issues.  In the progression, many will show emotional differences, often showing sadness, anxiety, and/or unexpected anger.

            Caregiving for a person with dementia is generally complex and confusing.  Generally the caregiver is a relative (spouse or parent typically) who is very well known to the person with dementia.  This person with dementia is now exhibiting unusual reactions and behavior.  

“This is a person I have known for many, many years; they are still the same person, but there are striking differences.  And about the time I have adjusted to who she is, there are further confusing changes.  I read about all of this, but the articles/books don’t really tell me how to deal with the specific changes I see happening.  The person with dementia who is described in this article is not at all like what I have to deal with involving my relative/friend.  She/he is upset much of the time.  And, because of that, I am upset, too.”

Dementia caregiving is troubled, in part due to the changed person and relationship.  

Each one is unique with unpredictable strange emotions and behavior.  The needed advice and support is difficult to find.